We all know that striving in this difficult life requires one to be something. Following this fact, one assumes that “to be” also applies to spirituality, without realizing that spirituality does not have any meaning unless one discovers that pretending to be something only leads to discouragement on the path. Humility does not mean loosing one’s personality, but rather gaining in brilliancy, alike the light in an electric globe, which does not only shine inside the globe, but it also radiates as far as its brilliancy reaches.
The journey on this path requires constant efforts to forge the character into a living example of Love, Harmony and Beauty, so that one may be a bringer of happiness, overlooking all that which disturbs one when others are not in accord with one’s own thinking, and making every effort to work on one’s own failures, rather than judging others. Even in a fall there is a hidden stone on which to rise above shortcomings, distinctions and differences, attuning one’s ego, in harmony with those whom one meets, and in whose company one might then discover sparks of hidden wisdom.
When dealing with others, all actions of kindness and consideration are offered without any expectation in return; but the wise take care not to pride themselves upon their good deeds, recognizing that vanity is a veil which dims the light of seeming compassion.
There is no experience in life which is really worthless, and there is not one moment which is really wasted, providing one is wise enough to carefully assemble bits and pieces of past memories and learn from these with the idea of accomplishing one’s life's purpose, although one’s visions of right and wrong might not always correspond to those of others.
Any role that one plays as actor in the game of life soon becomes an intoxication, and in that spell one clings to the illusion of one’s identity, but as soon as one discovers that nothing is really absolute, one realizes that all is but a moment's game, whatever be one’s conditions, whether bright or gloomy, and that all values are only worth what they are in comparison to others, depending on the angle from which they are considered, being only true to a certain extent in comparison to unlimited truth, which is beyond all speculative theories.
The self which one clings to, and which is only an illusion of one’s true identity, is, however, the channel through which the soul is ultimately the spectator of all happenings, reflected as impressions upon a mirror, yet the images have only reached its surface, without causing any permanent alteration, leaving the mirror of the soul immaculately pure.
Self-denial does not mean turning away from life’s duties nor renouncing nature’s sources of happiness. Self-denial means to have discpline over the ego, which creeps up at every possible occasion. In self-denial, happiness is more intensely appreciated when rising above the notion of wanting, and while taking into consideration one’s duties toward the accomplishment of one’s life’s purpose. It is in the absence of the self, that a spark growns to a bright flame casting light upon the dark labyrinth of the false ego, following which, every action becomes a source of happiness.
Happiness means making the right use of those means that have been granted for the purpose of accomplishing the duties expected of us. Unfortunately, our vision of right and wrong is not always correct, nor does it always correspond to the vision of others. Happiness means understanding the wants and needs of our physical body, discovering the many mysteries of the mind, and seeking unfoldment of a loving heart. How few realize that the heart is like a dome within which all, whether good or bad, re-echoes, creating thereby either uplifting or disturbing influences that become in time the characteristics of one’s own personality.
The Art of personality consists of polishing the rough edges of one’s vanity, since vanity is in fact the hidden source from which both virtue and sin arise in one way or other, and for which one shall have to account for sooner or later.
The Art of personality is like the Art of Music, wherein ear and voice training are indispensable to determine the pitch of a tone and to create the intervals as they unfold in accordance to a harmonious structure. When applying this same ideal of harmony to one’s relations with others, it becomes clear that the beauty of the personality shines out in such tendencies as a friendly attitude spontaneously offered in word and action, which is the result of the awakening of a true sense of justice, in line with one’s own conscience. A sincere person proves to be genuine by the beauty and sincerity of the personality, just as a flower proves to be genuine by its fragrance; a jewel proves to be genuine by its radiance; a fruit proves to be genuine by its sweetness.
The beauty, fragrance and colour latent in the root of the rose plant are expressed in the bloom of the rose rather than in the sharp point of the thorn, although rose and thorn are both part of the same plant and derive from the same root. In a similar way, one cannot excuse a negative behaviour by saying: “I was only born as a thorn, so how could I be as beautiful as a rose?” But unlike a rose plant, we are all granted the gift of free will. It is the sign of the noble spirit to comprehend all things, to assimilate all things, to tolerate and to forgive.
When Jesus Christ said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” that message revealed the true secret of the Art of personality, understood in that context as being the effacement of one’s own ego. It is the ego of others that disturbs one the most; therefore, as a service to others one willingly chooses to efface one’s own ego. The words ‘poor in spirit’ illustrate the softening of the ego, which then may show a certain charm. This same charm is also seen in persons who have experienced suffering and disappointment, but the true virtue in the softening of the ego lies in one’s own initiative taken on the path of self-denial.
It is the gratification of ego that builds up its strength, and the more the satisfaction is acquired, the greater is the desire. In this way, one becomes enslaved by one’s own ego. Really speaking, one should act as King or Queen in one’s own kingdom. Otherwise, one falls from sovereignty to slavery, becoming finally a burden to others as well as to oneself. The great battle that the wise fight is a battle with the self, whereas an egoistic person fights with the ego of others, and where the victory can only be temporary. The victory of the wise is permanent, although life’s trials become that much harder to endure. On the other hand, when digging deep within the limitations of the self, one might perhaps discover the treasures of the true self.
The training of the ego does not necessarily require a life of seclusion, but it is rather a test of balance and of wisdom. Such a training implies the understanding of the reason behind a desire, of what might be the consequences of obtaining satisfaction, of whether or not one can afford to pay the price, and whether it is a righteous or an unjust desire. Under the spell of a desire, one’s awareness of justice, logic and duty is dulled by the grip of the ego, and in that state of mind one judges according to one’s best interests, one reasons from the point of view of selfishness, and one’s feelings of duty are darkened by the all-pervading image of the self.
No doubt, it is difficult to discriminate between right and wrong, between that which is natural and that which is not, between that which is really necessary and that which is not, between that which brings happiness and that which leaves sorrow, but here again the answer is found in the training of ego, by which one comes to realize that one’s worst enemy as well as one’s best friend, are both within oneself.
Self consciousness displays endless facets, some reflecting inferiority complexes such as the need for praise and admiration, and others showing superiority complexes such as finding satisfaction in humiliating and dominating others with an unquenchable thirst for self-assertion. The more one tries to dissimulate one’s weakness behind a mask of assertion, the more one’s self-confidence collapses like a sand castle under the waves of the rising sea, whereas when the ego is softened, it harmonizes in all circumstances like the little bubbles that float upon the waves, even in a stormy sea.
Life can also be pictured as a building with doors smaller than one’s own size. At every attempt to enter, one knocks one’s head against the doorframe, leaving no other device than bending the head when passing through the door.
Modesty is not necessarily weakness, nor is it the same as humility founded upon self-pity. Modesty is a feeling that rises from the living heart, which is secretly conscious of its inner beauty while at the same time veiling itself even from its own sight.
The Hindu word for religion, dharma, meaning duty, could also be understood as consciousness of one’s most noble obligations. When attuned to the deep meaning of this interpretation of religion, one realizes that to be religious means to accomplish those duties that have been entrusted to one by destiny as the purpose of one's life. Therefore, it is one’s most religious duty to practice the Art of personality, so that one might some day become a living example of that ideal, while dancing the sacred dance at the court of Indra, the temple of Divine Presence found within ones heart.
Hidayat Inayat-Khan
April 2012
